“And they lived happily ever after,” is the ending to most
fairy tales. This line has fooled many
young people into thinking once they are married they will live happily ever
after. It’s easy to get wrapped up in the
whole fairy tale. After all we are
marrying our prince in a big beautiful white princess gown (wedding dress) at a
tall majestic magical castle (a temple).
It’s like a scene out of a Disney movie.
What the bride and groom don’t know is that happily ever after doesn’t
exist. The line really should have been
written “And they worked hard, fought, forgave, compromised, and worked
together, and then lived happily ever after.”
Marriage requires a lot of work and a lot of compromise. Sometimes we won’t see eye to eye. Sometimes we might fight. How we handle our trials as a married couple
will determine if we live happily ever after.
When my
husband and I first got married I too felt like we were going to live happily
ever after. We dated for 3 years prior
to getting married and we were friends before we started dating. We hardly ever fought and we got a long
great. We have now been married for going on ten
years. They have been the best 10 years
of my life. Looking from the outside it
would look like a happily ever after relationship. However, we have to continually work on our
relationship. We are two different
people with two different opinions on disciplining and raising children. We have both changed somewhat in the last ten
years. We aren’t the same people we were
when we got married. Sometimes we fight,
sometimes we hurt one anothers feelings, and sometimes we don’t see
eye-to-eye. Despite the problems we face
we work hard, we work together, and we are constantly strengthening our
relationship. We haven’t reached happily
ever after but we will continue to strive and work for it.
In all
marriage there are things that will cause our “Happily ever after” to not be so
happy or not be ever after. Satan has
worked really hard at making it so relationships fail and couples give up. One of the biggest dangers in a relationship
is “Wolves”. In Elder Bruce C. Hafen’s
talk “Covenant marriage” he warns us of wolfs in our relationships. Every marriage is tested by three kinds of
wolves. The first wolf he talks about is
adversity. We all will have adversity in
our lives. Some adversity may be harder
than others. Adversity can make or break
a couple. If we are willing to endure and work together it can strengthen our
relationship. However, if we don’t
endure together we can also be torn apart.
The
second wolf Bruce C. Hafen mentions is our own imperfections. If we dwell on the imperfections of each
other it will tear us down and our relationship apart. Instead of focusing on
imperfections we can build each other up and make those imperfections
disappear. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we
could all help our spouse with their insecurities and self-esteem?
The
third Bruce C. Hafen talks about is excessive individualism. ”The adversary has long cultivated this
overemphasis on personal autonomy, and now he feverishly exploits it.” We live in a time where we want to be our own
selves and we don’t want to turn to anyone for help. We strive to have our own
autonomy. However, in doing so we are
doing what Satan wants us to do. He
wants us to turn from those we love and he drives us away from each other.
In our
own marriage we need to be aware of these wolves. We need to be prepared and ready to fight
them. We cannot be like a hireling and
run away from the sheep when we see a wolf.
We must be like the good shepherd and lay down our life for the
sheep. We should not flee when things
get tough we need to work through it and endure together. We might have to work for our happily ever
but it’s something worth fighting for.
Bruce C. Hafen's talk on Covenant Marriage:
https://byui.brightspace.com/content/enforced/94833-Online.2016.Spring.FAML300.02/Course%20Files/Covenant_Marriage_Hafen.pdf?_&d2lSessionVal=nuK52sR0IGaz2SF9QRYtMCX4h&ou=94833
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