A lot of people thing being unfaithful to a spouse is having
a sexual affair. However, being
unfaithful to a spouse can be a lot more than just having sexual relations with
someone else. You can be unfaithful to a
spouse by having an emotional relationship with someone else. Most of the times when an emotional
relationship happens with someone of the opposite sex it doesn’t even occur to
the person that they are being unfaithful to your spouse, we see it as a just close
friendship. We don’t see that we have
crossed a line because there isn’t anything physical or romantic about the
relationship. However, sharing our
deepest thoughts, dreams, and feelings should be shared with our spouse not
someone we consider a close friend. Kenneth W. Matheson said “Emotional
infidelity doesn’t usually happen suddenly; rather, it occurs gradually—often
imperceptibly at first. This is one reason why those involved often feel
innocent of any wrongdoing.”
Is it
safe to have a non-mutual friendship with someone of the opposite sex? I would have to say no. It’s not safe. There are too many lines that can be crossed
easily without noticing. I think it’s
safe to say when in doubt put yourself in your spouse’s shoes. How would you feel if your spouse had a
friend of the opposite sex and they text, emailed, called, or went to lunch
together. Would you feel jealous? Would you feel insecure in your relationship? I know if my husband had a friend who was a
girl and he was always talking about her or with her it would hurt me for
sure. Emotional relationships can damage
a marriage and tear it apart. It’s
another one of Satan’s ways to destroy the family. Kenneth W. Matheson said
“Fidelity includes refraining from physical contact—but that is not all.
Fidelity also means complete commitment, trust, and respect between husband and
wife. Inappropriate interactions with another person can erode fidelity.”
Emotional
relationships happen more often than we thing.
My Uncle is not a member of the Church buy my Aunt is. They have been married for 40+ years. Recently my Uncle has become reunited with an
old flame through Facebook. They send
messages back and forth, they talk on the phone, and recently she visited him
and my Aunt. Everyone outside of my aunt
and uncles relationship can see what is going on. My Aunt is in denial and doesn’t see anything
wrong with him having a relationship with an old girlfriend.
In Kenneth W. Matheson’s talk on Fidelity in Marriage he gave some
questions to evaluate if you have a
need to improve spiritual fidelity. He
said to ask yourself the following questions:
- “Are you turning to your friend for comfort rather than
turning to your spouse?”
- “Do you find yourself thinking about your friend even
when you’re at home?”
- “Do you seek opportunities to be with your friend even
when work doesn’t require you to be together?”
- “Do you e-mail and text your friend when you’re not
together?”
- “Have you told your spouse about these messages?”
- “Does the relationship with your friend take more of
your time and energy than your relationship with your spouse?”
- “Do you compare your spouse to your friend?”
- “Would you be uncomfortable introducing your spouse to
your friend?”
Depending on how you answered these
questions there may be room for you to make some changes in your life and in
your relationships.
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